Lunaxis

by Venerable Master Hsing Yun, from his book “The Carefree Life”

How to say ‘No’ and how to refuse others tactfully is a skillful art. When others ask us to do something that we cannot deliver, we have no choice but to refuse. However, it is hard to refuse others.

Suggestions on how to decline others when we absolutely must:

1. Do Not Decline Immediately – it can give others the impression that we are cold and have preconceived notions about them. One must give some thoughts on that person request.
2. Do Not Decline Recklessly – we could lose many opportunities to help others and to make friends.
3. Do Not Decline Angrily – we can hurt others’ feelings and make them think that we are unsympathetic.
4. Do Not Decline Callously – they may feel slighted, which in turn can create bad feelings among all.
5. Do Not Decline Cold-Heartedly – without any room to negotiate, it can embarass others and can possibly turn them into enemies.
6. Do Not Decline Arrogantly – No one wants to be close to one who is arrogant* and disrespectful to others. It is especially hard to accept when someone really needs our help and we turn this person down arrogantly.
7. Decline Tactfully – this way, they will be touched by our sincerity and truthfulness.
8. Decline with a Smile – it is important that we act friendly and with respect. This allows others to maintain their dignity and accept our refusal more easily.
9. Decline with and Alternative – suggest an alternative way that we can help them. In this way, they will be thankful for our thoughtfulness.
10. Decline with a Solution – although we may not be able to help a person when he/she asks us for help, we can offer him a solution.
11. Decline Helpfully – eventhough we may not be able to help him in this instance, we may be able to help him in some other way. This shows wisdom and compassion on our part.

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* Arrogant

Four months of practice finally paid of and I’m finally free! I can now catch up with my work and other stuffs that had been left out due to all the practices I had to join at night. Honestly speaking… I actually enjoyed it. This was actually my first time to play on stage. Now the surprise came after the play, we were actually invited to play in Manila… woohoo?! or booo!? Mixed emotions… free trip.. or more work. This will depend entirely on the producers and the organizers. For me… I’d say, 50/50 chance.. with the free trip in mind

Check out their homepage here and their website here

Now I’m going back to sleep… went home almost 1am in the morning with bruised hands and cramped legs.